THEY WERE GOING TO SHUT OFF THAT STRIPPER’S POWER, HONEY
Strip bars or “gentlemen clubs” (could there be a more contradictory description of guys going into a “gentleman’s club”?) are in most cities. If your city doesn’t have one, Las Vegas helps bring back up the national topless bar per city ratio your city is pulling down.
In Las Vegas there is a topless bar called “The Crazy Horse II”. Apparently one crazy horse running around wasn’t enough–just tell the cab driver “the deuce” (FYI). On a recent trip to a best friend’s bachelor party, I happen to meander into “The Deuce”. Purely for writing research mind you.
As odd or perfectly sane as it may sound, one of the best parts is telling a good looking girl who has just come up to you asking to “dance” for you, no thanks. When is there any other time that this happens? None, not even during a blue moon, leap year or a L.A. Clipper championship run. Sometimes they go away quickly looking for another sucker and sometimes you gotta start coming up with reasons. For example, “I’m too shy.” ” My wife would kill me.” “My boyfriend is in the bathroom.”–actually that one can back-fire sometimes.
But the most common stripper turn down line might be “I don’t have enough money.” That is a big mistake.
“You have a ATM card don’t you?” the stripper asks. You say “Well, yea sure.” The stripper replies “Don’t worry, we can just run your card, the statement will just say The Power Company. So when your wife looks at the statement, you’re okay.”
The Power Company? Who the fuck thought that was a smart one to use? Who’s town’s utility company is just called The Power Company? And what woman is going to actually think you paid the power bill in Las Vegas at three in the morning?
I would love to hear an explanation by one of these guys: “Yea well ya see honey, we were all asleep in our hotel rooms when suddenly the front desk called and said they were a little short on the electricity bill and the only way to keep the power on was for one of the guests to donate eighty eight dollars. None of the other ass-holes wanted to help out so I stepped up and made the donation. I’m really a bit of a hero at the Luxor now. A true “gentleman” you might say.”