Yes, I have a drinking problem. The problem is with the damn hangovers. And I have legendary hangovers. Last weekend was no exception.
But before I tell you that, nobody gets worse hangovers than me. Mine last for a full day, sometimes into the next. I puke all day, usually about every 45 minuets or so, until the late evening (it used to be just the morning but old age is creeping up on me).
I’ve never missed a day of work but I sure have missed plenty of classes, overstayed welcomes (because I couldn’t drive home puking ya know), had to pretend I had the flu at family gatherings, had GREEN things come out of me and last Sunday, miss a day of hanging around with my friends watching Football (Mike Martz sucks!).
I missed that day of Football because I underestimated the power of MICROBEER. When they say it’s 7.5 % alcohol, they ain’t shitin you! But you know I didn’t have anymore than anybody else did, but yet something chemical in my weak-ass, stomach of an infant, belly, went haywire. That 7.5% Sent me into a day long puke-fest the likes of which couldn’t be rivaled by the worst morning sickness.
The thing is, I’m not a rookie at drinking (my mom is so proud). I know how to drink and know I can get heavy duty hangovers at the drop of a pint glass. But yet that knowledge just floats out of my brain when the Micro beers start flowing. “It won’t happen this time.” I say to myself. “I haven’t been getting hangovers from those Ultra’s.” (I think they must just put a drop of alcohol in those.)
So remember kids, take it from a drunk who knows, just because the beer is from a Microbrewer doesn’t mean it won’t give you a big-ass hangover.