Softball Is For Posers
I admit it, I play Wiffleball. Go ahead and laugh but you’re probably just jealous.
What’s that you say? You can’t be jealous because you don’t know what Wiffleball is? Well, you’re not the only one with questions about Wiffleball. When I’m having a conversation with someone and they find out I play Wiffleball, I get many questions. Well, Okay, not many questions but there are a few, such as:
-You play what now?
-Is that the ball with the holes?
-Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, ya right…wait, you’re serious?
-Hey, my five year old and I play that.
-Wiffleball, that’s cool. (No idea what Wiffleball is.)
Actually the most common reaction I get is a polite smile and head nod. But I just know that they’re thinking “I knew he was a dork but ,WOW, I had no idea”.
Okay, I’ll concede that an adult playing Wiffleball is a bit on the geek side, but it shouldn’t be considered any worse than playing Softball.
Like Softball, Wiffleball is just a modified version of Baseball. But Wiffleball has the element of pitching that Softball (well slow pitch anyway) doesn’t have. In Wiffleball, you have all of the types of pitches that Baseball has plus a couple extra ( the “Cadiwampus” is very popular). Softball just has the Toss-it-up-there-so-the-girl-from-Service-Deli-can-hit-it and the Huck-the-holy-hell-out-of-it under-arm pitch.
Softball does have the fact that the ball is close to being hard as a baseball and you need an aluminum bat, like college Baseball (ohhh yes, aluminum bats in college Baseball, I smell another column). Also, your not going to get hurt with a Wiffleball like you could a Softball. Although if you’ve been hit square in the ‘junk’ with a Wiffleball ,like most of us have, you wouldn’t say that!
A major stumbling block for making Wiffleball considered a less dorky sport is the whole “played it as a kid and then I discovered there are these strange creatures called girls” thing.
Now that I have managed to fool a girl into marrying me, the fact that Wiffleball is considered a kids game, to me, is one of it’s selling points. Every time we play I get a little flashback of when I played as a ten year old. Summer days of going from morning till dinner, no matter how damn hot it got (by the way, an August Fresno day feels like Heatmiser himself is lurking about). Threre are some moments, while playing, when it feels like no time has passed at all.
I hope that one day Wiffleball can break out of that kid/geek stigma and become a more respectable sport (yea, you know, like Bowling or Dodgeball). I will be waiting with ball and Banana Bat in hand.
Now are you jealous?